I tried living in another country, in another city, I tried being with others, tried acting like the last four years that separated us were definite, still and irreversible. I tried forgetting your steps through my doorway, I tried forgetting your late night calls and the sound of you breathing so close to me. I tried, I swear… I did everything to put you in a box labeled ‘’past’’ and threw it in a corner of myself that I never sweep or tidy up. I just want to forget, forgive, move on and loose all these feelings of nostalgia, of yearning for you. That is in fact the problem… I yearn for you and all that you were and everything that was not perfect between us I rewrite it in my head so it can be just what I need, just what I want. I tried moving on but every time, the picture before my eyes was clear… I needed you, I needed pain and I needed to feel lost again. You make me feel lost and helpless, because I cannot help but want you.